Uhol pohľadu vol. III
NOVÝ ROK, NOVÝ BLOG
(OBRáZKY, ZNOVA, ZABERALI VEĽA MIESTA PRI EDITOVÁNÍ)
5/1/23, near 14/00
0/37, 5/1/23
Vacsinou nepisem o, ak vobec, o sucasnych udalostiach. Nejako ma to nezaujima. Aj tak su vacsinou tragedie a potom este vacsie "tragedie", o ktorych sa, pri oboch, bohvie-len preco pise. Dno, zufalstvo? Kedy sa informovanie meni na vzbudzovanie vasni a strachu?!
Pisem, lebo inak by som musel citat /s. Ale(bo ani) nie. Je to pre mna zabava. A zaroven terapia. Uz je samo o sebe predsa lepsie nieco napisat ako "sa na niecom podpisat" - no nie?
Hah, pche. Pisem zase jeden velky nezmysel. Preco(?). Nieco som chcel napisat.
thats why you cant find solutions there. it is simple not profitable. sick
is it greed? selfishness? egoism? "moral" superiority...?
isnt it the longing for "internet will solve everything" sentiment of past? you see, *this* happened
- commercialization, sell-out of net. instead of decentralization, sites like r/tard, d/cult and g/iggle took hold.
instead of Win MS helping to unify world (which, upon seeing now, rather harms us), it is just cash-cow for people who want to not care, just "be there, on pulse"... you surely got me. - instead of individualism that net promote/d, what happened is: instead of treaing everyone with respect, now, we are more disconnected than ever. surely i am sentimental, but think about it - instead of being together, we are alone - egoistic. yet, this stupid hivemind where nearly each soc. system leads to its end...
i cant tell why. can you? it makes me sad. but doesnt that happen anyway, always? why-how-
(2am, 13/1/23)
I dont know what that is, but there is this one problem.
/I want to talk about so many things./
Yet, what am I doing right now?
Trust? - None. Idk, but prolly by proxy. World affairs. (1)
Friends? - Had few, yet, I am too stuck-up around others.
- There might be the catch, it seems. It would be so easy to not care nor worry. (3)
- It is *as if I was made to be (#), this mess. But am I alone? Surely not.
- I - am just afraid, that if I loosen-up, bad things would happen.
I am afraid of mistakes. It makes me unable to exist. Also, I am feeling guilty
and shameful - about it. What a (1st World) tragedy.
To those, there is this "generational" illness of being afraid. Of being lost. (2)
- No physically, but, this fear (=#) - of being "like everyone else".
- It is stupid (one), tho. ~ How can I be scared of screw-ups, if I fell for
such -individualistic, political- scam?!
- Put like that, it seems to make sense. But really? Is it "it"? Isn't there
more ot that - or, isnt it false equivalency?! Is it causality, or correlation -
- I dont know.
Looks like I might to "touch some grass" soon. Well, where. If my spurt can win
against my "why-not"s and comfort of known and easy, then maybe. I want to, yet,
am too, afraid of that.
These foolish -intrusive thoughts- and stupid fake "needs" (comparison, jealousy, false ego, "hurt"...)!
Good if I wanted to, but I am kinda afraid that if left my guard, then bad things would happen, or my tongue will slip - but it is more of made-up fear in my head, than reality. That could happen, but in there, I see it, I guess, extremely exgagereded. I cant do anything, or *my bad self* will win - I am afraid of it. I dont want to be bad, egoistic, some type of CEO psychpath. I am never like that, but I can never know. It is just fear. I am scared of failure, you
can tell too. I am scared how I look like, how others see me. Yet I will rarely change for them. It is as if I betrayed myself, thrown away all I "worked" on. Is it stupid or normal human feeling, behaviour, dilemma? Well, I would call it that, - normal. In my case too, it seems. I never mantained any Self, I hate pretending. I am not formed by anything much, most of the time. Even if those were lies - why? Why then I still bother to care!? Because if I havent, no one
will? Lies. No one knows me. Yes. Nor myself pretty much. Tragedy. Or relief? As in what. I hardly try to answe that tho. It is just random idea now, with/out any "folder" in my head to reference to. To know; form oneself - is it must, is it "just hobby", stupid, useless, or even painful? - I would love to leave my past behind, yet, I am morbidly afraid that if I do (that), then I will "throw out baby too with bathtub water" - that then, it will be extremely hard
and time-consuming to build another "Me" anew, from scratch. Lies too? I feel empty, so why this presumption there? Or I am not as empty as I thought, and I still care. Yet I cant answer that, Why. Memory block? Never analysed *that* properly? Am I afraid of that? "What worst could happen?" - emotionally, *my* world will "fell apart". After reasoning, it is only that. No one needs to know about this. Even if I will write this down in my blog as prolly my last
message (reason: lack of themes, I told you, people, all traumas, fears, doubts I got on my mind), nothing much will change. I will just lie again to myself how everything is bad-good and how I, cryptically and vocally too, hate hypocrites and stupid laws - despite being like this, one big phonie, being disgusted of them. Well, I am, of myself too, - why (do) you think I am writting this!? I lie lie lie all the time. To myself. Do I feel happy? Maybe I am taking things
as "forever-there-to-be"s. Not being thankful. Still comparing and complaining (hehe *ouch*, it rhymes), never to be pleased. Root...? Or just this "modern illness"? When things are not enough for me, how *I* can be enough for myself?! Sounds simple-stupid, isnt it. Is Society, Postmodernism to blame? Culture, Nurture? Or is it just my fault to "not be tough enough!"? But then, *some* people hate people to be that. Is resilient better word? Thankful? Problem, you
see, is - you actually can pick (from present options) - isnt this the tragedy? Over-whelming number of options? What you *can* be, become, fight for... "As/How one donkey died over *indecisivness*", you see. - But is it plan, actual conspiracy? Present so many options (that) one gets mad, loose head over options - but then, there are only two parties? Isnt that stupid? Or, is it just so stupidly obvious, one just cant see it in front of their own eyes!? Disgustingly
genial... More like, genital (oof). Ass or tits!? When you got only one of two options, while being bombarded with so many opinions and (funded) ScIeNtIfIc DiScOvErIeS, one can wonder how in the fuck people can still take it! Hardly. I wonder too. Not painting devil on wall, but it is obvious to (at least) me, there is something going to happen, as more people will figure out this *one* too. (Un)fortunetly, not everyone got hardly any time for navel-gazing theses
in their heads as this one, or even time for writting that all out. Not alone trying to push counter-agenda. Not saying people dont know what they are doing or why. Or anything on politics. - But everything dont have to be personal, labeled, or political. Living in Western world for you means, you hold onto tradition of it, in common. No Left, no Right. Being decent. Not lying unless for chivalry reasons ;). Being true, not good-good for clout or "points"
- do it, preach what you do, but dont make truth out of lies. Dont jump because everyone else is too - ask first. Ask what is going on, why, how. If we went to question reality and self-imposed states of mind (concepts), life could be clearer and less confussing. Not saying there will be no problems, only that there will be only those that are more-or-less valid. When you ask, this chaos, sometimes beautiful, can be more bearable. When you know Why, you understand
what are they/m people fighting for or against. I call this no-ask world Zombie-one. You maybe heard about Vaporwave (outside of music genre), Hauntology, (Aenomoia) or Monument Mythos. Something like that, if not basically that. Are we afraid to question things from fear of losing them, them being stolen from us by some Bad actors, or that we will be labeled, marked as conspirators (let it be what it meant before, or even after shift of meaning)? At least *here*
(head), it seems so. But isnt it that without pain, rebels and struggle, doubts, we could value those things we have? Or, even save to say, start to think about those things, thoughts, and these questions of "Why" (is it *this way*), on alone!?! That all is valid, nice and based. What isnt tho is, playing with emotions. Our lowest denominators. No one is safe from them. When thinking about it, maybe how we react to stimuli, not how we see ouselves, is what we Are.
Us, "Me" (Just little idea *moment*). But what is opposite of that, is my guilt. Is there shame too? Why is it so? I wonder too. Maybe it is just erro in my head, no enough "grass touched" (doubt), or only that "no one needs me" (no job). Is wanting not to fight, for man, bad? Is it what makes me "sad"? Or just that everyone else wants to only to forgot themselves (for them, then, to had no need to wrote something *like this alone*). I tried to "consoome", but it is
no longer fun. It is just distraction, from reality, real problems. Solvable or not, pretended or made-up (baka brain!), it hurts the same... And I lie. I do things I hate in others. God, I'll hate them in myself too. But as I said, I am so afraid *of it*...
Tuesday at 4:01 PM (21/2/23)
(No) New "Normal"s
From as long as humanity exists, my premise seems, there were no times where "things were normal".
WWI, WWII, Big Depression (well, maybe both), - even before that! Napoleon Wars, 1800s, 1900s...
There is NO time where things were "OK" - there is ALWAYS SoMeThInG. Maybe "we cant have nice things", - cant afford things without effort really, isnt it so!?
You see, 70s, 2008 Crisis, 2k DotCom, Japan 1980 Bubble-burst, 80s/90s... Always something!! The main problem is - is it real, or just perceived? Do you live thru chaos, or just forget "- wait! this is not the first time"!?
Basics - a.l.a. history and memory goes, there, one can argue, never was ~something~ Normal. Because what is it that it makes "normal"? Just our comfort, frequent, -simplified- use - think of stereotypes, archetypes, tropes would you?! Who knows, normal could be just our ~lust for "what-could-be"~ - anemoia? "Do you miss how it was, or what it was supposed to be?"...*Edit* (6/3/23, 14/30) - You can only connect things you know, to the unknown...
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https://www.popular.pics/reddit/subreddits/posts?r=aftergifted&after=t3_pucjr3 17:09, 28/3/23https://searchblogspotsite.blogspot.com/
19/51, 6/4/23 - Once Upon a Time Was the Space - S01E17 11/4/23, 8/49PM (timezone?)Bing AI BlogPost*Write about* "1995-2007 futures are gone for us now"
The year is 2023 and we are living in a world that is radically different from what we imagined in the late 1990s and early 2000s. The internet boom, the dot-com bubble, the rise of social media, the advent of smartphones and tablets, the emergence of artificial intelligence and biotechnology, the globalization and digitalization of everything - all these trends have shaped our lives in ways that we could not have predicted or prepared for.
But what about the futures that we dreamed of back then? The futures that were promised to us by science fiction, by visionary thinkers, by optimistic entrepreneurs? The futures that we hoped for, that we worked for, that we invested in? Where are they now?
In this blog post, I will explore some of the futures that we lost in the past two decades and why they did not materialize. I will also reflect on what we can learn from them and how we can create new futures that are more realistic, more sustainable and more desirable.
The Future of Work
One of the futures that we envisioned in the late 1990s and early 2000s was the future of work. We imagined that the internet would enable us to work from anywhere, anytime, with anyone. We imagined that we would have more flexibility, more autonomy, more creativity and more productivity. We imagined that we would be able to pursue our passions, our talents and our interests without being constrained by geography, time zones or corporate hierarchies.
But what happened instead? The internet did not liberate us from work; it intensified it. It made us more connected, more accessible, more accountable and more competitive. It blurred the boundaries between work and life, between professional and personal, between public and private. It created new forms of stress, anxiety, burnout and isolation. It also created new forms of inequality, exploitation and precarity. It disrupted many industries, sectors and professions, displacing millions of workers and creating new skills gaps and labor shortages.
The future of work that we dreamed of is gone for us now. We need to rethink how we work in the digital age, how we balance our needs and aspirations with our responsibilities and obligations, how we collaborate and communicate with our colleagues and clients, how we learn and adapt to changing demands and opportunities.
The Future of Education
Another future that we envisioned in the late 1990s and early 2000s was the future of education. We imagined that the internet would enable us to access unlimited information, knowledge and wisdom from anywhere, anytime, with anyone. We imagined that we would have more choice, more diversity, more quality and more affordability. We imagined that we would be able to learn anything, anytime, anywhere, at our own pace and style.
But what happened instead? The internet did not democratize education; it commodified it. It made us more dependent on standardized tests, rankings, credentials and certificates. It made us more vulnerable to misinformation, disinformation and propaganda. It made us more passive consumers of content rather than active creators of meaning. It also made us more isolated learners rather than engaged participants in communities of practice.
The future of education that we dreamed of is gone for us now. We need to rethink how we learn in the digital age, how we curate our sources of information, how we evaluate our sources of knowledge, how we apply our sources of wisdom, how we share our sources of inspiration.
https://www.tumblr.com/nutzo0001/714956427888918528?source=share
(18/4/23, 6/32PM)We need name forterm that is something like guilty-pleasure, but it is *this* feeling when you feel good, disgusted, question how society and economy still works; and how dissecting everything into some kind of morale render us incapable to do anything that is not (in) any sense "bad"...if you get this; what i wanted to say
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24/04/23, 12/09PMIn article about morality nihilism etc.: (Backrub this):
According to Simone de Beauvoir in The Ethics of Ambiguity (1948), one of the forms that nihilism can take is nostalgia – the desire to return to how free we felt as children before we discovered as adults that freedom entails responsibility. Corporations can therefore also benefit from promoting nihilism in the form of selling us nostalgia and other ways to distract ourselves from reality. This is why we must not only recognise the nihilism in ourselves, but also recognise that it exists in the world around us, and identify the sources of that nihilism. Rather than letting ourselves feel powerless in a world that seems to have stopped caring, we should ask where nihilistic views of the world are coming from, and who benefits from our seeing the world that way. Knowledge Political philosophy Ethics 27 February 2020 -
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Little rant + blatantly copying Dictionary of obscure sorrows https://www.tumblr.com/nutzo0001/716523461306155008/2007-positivism-goofy-name-should-be-better?source=share -
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Once Upon a Time Was the Space - S01E17 -
Once Upon a Time Was the Space - S01E17
dnes v 14:54
https://twitter.com/aftergifted
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https://www.popular.pics/reddit/subreddits/posts?r=aftergifted&after=t3_pucjr3
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/MESSED-UP FORMATTING - ARCHIVE HERE:/
it is that i dont matter then and i can do what i want, but it doesnt matter because ive been psyoped from everyone "that is selfish" -
it feels dirty. i cant hold myself. either you need me, or i will take it and become Napoleon... it is always what happens in my head. this scenario.
nothing in reality. i am too afraid. i dont want to hurt no one. but if others can, why i still care!? if wrong things get normalized, then, how i still can tell the difference!
my head want to tell me when i dont matter, i am invicible because this is not about me. you dont need me. you just need another workforce you can make "your family". you can psyop (me, us) ever more. we dont matter. young people dont. no one does. it is always the same. nothing ever changes. but why i feel bad for that then!!
feels so stupid. i should not care. i dont want to. but i cant! i want to save everyone. want to show them path. because... i just want them to shout at me. but not only that.
i just want to know why (i feel) all that. what this means, why is my head acting up! i just want from them to tell me what is wrong with me!! **god knew he cant make me be able to learn how to manipulate people, or i would be too dangerous...
- it just seems like only way to get along. to change everything. yet, i dont want to. i dont know whar tells me it is wrong. but it is only mildly, that i am good. i just dont know how. i was just told to it is. learned that. and i just accepted it. i can, but dont want to be bad. what it ever means anyway. it is another shortcut. god, if this post was shorter and i could find out what all this^ means... messiah complex? just one-cut zoomer? is everyone such idealist, at least once??
many people hate capitalism, but done nothing to change that. got no idea. maybe they think they will be at top, after the revolution. yes wishes. > "orange emily"s?
picrel: (orange emily)
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I mean. In such way, you make something no one ever seen before. Brand new thing. Influenced by nothing of this world, or at least it seems so... To break restraints on imagination, on possible, of what you can ever even think of... Crazy. Rockets, iPhones, computers, ... (Nu)bjects, protoshapes...
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I do, want to, matter. But why I try, when there are fights you can't never win. And goals? What for. To be egomaniac, to boast around? Maybe the way is not to want to. Slack off? Uh. Too easy. More, to accept what you can't fight. But as I can't never know why is it that when I can't, isn't it all futile? No. I can do it for myself. But is there some!? If there isn't, who i argue with! Never nothing new. How people invent things, how you make reality bend itself...
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Good, if not for me wanting to make up fights. With myself, society, reason... Seems I miss conflict, but not wanting war. It is just that I will fight things if they were important, yet not if in my way, like I can't try new things because I don't excell at them from the first try. Also, too, that I can't, as of when I will learn new things, I will be always behind the pulse of things, then I gave up and why I ever tried... So I can fight if there is many of people, but not for myself.
0/22, 4/6/23
Koniec blogu?
Byť-to úprimný, už nemám o čom písať.
Moje myšlienky sa neustále opakujú.
Hnev, zmätenie, útek pred realitou** a nahováranie si*, falošná grandióznosť, hanba, strach zo seba samého, z úspechu/zlyhania(?) (omyly, zlyhania, nepripravenosť, znova hanba...)
Už mi došla predstavivosť. Témy. Jeden môže poznať seba len tak dobre, ako je mu to len dovolene. Potom sú to (tu) len klamstva, ktoré hovoríme sami sebe*.
Ako snáď len môžem vedieť, čí len toto všetko, i to čo som (na)písal predtým, nebol(i) len povrchne žvásty?! - Len ďalší únik z/od reality**; len tak sa zhovárať sám so sebou - a ešte k tomu pridávať to na web (net) - všetkým na oči! Rúhanie, opovážlivosť, takéto detinské dožadovanie sa pozornosti (od) ostatných...
Ktosi raz povedal niečo medzi slovami „outsorcing lásky“? Neviem (ako som toto písal, tak som aj zabudol(,) čo som vlastne chcel, mal na mysli)... V podstate (asi) - hľadanie lásky na nesprávnych miestach (ospravedlňovanie si činov...). Žadonenie si o niečo, čo možno ani (osobne/-nostne) nechápeme (zjednodušujeme) ako funguje, ako na to vôbec reagovať, či to vôbec môcť „v prírode“ rozoznať!...
Prečo chcem niečo, čo „nemôžem“ mat? Alebo niečo, čomu nerozumiem, niečo čo by som dal, ak by -
- ak by som sa nebaľ, že to stratím? Že ma to zraní? Bude použité proti mne?
Zrada, klamstvo, hra s (po)citmi? Aj keď si myslím, že to nepoznám z vlastných skúseností, bude to tým, na čo sme naučení!? Potom starkí očividne mali pravdu o TV... Ale kto by si, v konečnom dôsledku, chcel píliť sám pod sebou konár?! (Teraz nezachádzajme k sebaubližovaniu, myslím že toto s tým až tak nesúvisí.)
Ak by aj Project Mockingbird (/schizopost incoming!) bol náš každodenný chlieb, načo by niekto „potreboval“ ľudí čo neveria nikomu, ničomu (aj keď, ak to budeme brat ako zradu a ich vlastne rozhodnutie...) a sú hrozbou pred samotnými „objednávateľmi“!...
- Trochu také nezmyselné zamyslenie čo odbočilo XD.
<XD - #eXtraDepka> (teraz^ však nie ;D)
Tiež mala idea #3 -
Ak je rozdiel medzi srdcom a činmi - potom, ak si prehliadam memes, smejem sa, ale nesúhlasím s nim(i) (napr. ak sú veci v skut. zložitejšie***, ako *vysvetlene* v meme), potom - a JE to vtipne - stávam(e) sa tým, čo neznášam(e) (napr. teda povrchnými)!? - Nuž, mám to nechať byť, mám sa prestať smiať, mám sa začať báť?! - Pretože neraz sa stalo, že to čo bolo vtipne, bolo zle. Dokonca to ani nemuselo byt zlé - len to (ale) bolo zneužité. - Je teda správne, aby sa týmto istým spôsobom, „by general demand“ generalizovali, bagatelizovali, ironizovali, prekrúcali, zjednodušovali*** a *meta-projektovali* (psych.); normalizovali, *enablovali* témy a fakty? Je treba zásah? Kedy áno a/lebo nie?...
„Čo nie je zakázané bude povinné.“!? - Kto vie povedať, kedy dosť - (iste) zadávateľ (thinktank?) trendu!(?) (/výsmech)... - Non-sequi.: G.W.Bush: „Kto nie je s nami, je proti nám.“*** (9/11) > !falošná dualita (LEN 2 možnosti - ale nie vždy je všetko v skutočnosti také jednoduché...)
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雨、Some_porcupine、 逃げ出した後: (me)It is weird how I "hate" people and society behind screen, and all that disappears when I am outside. Anxiety is gone. I wonder. Why is it that, why at home I am anarchist who hate The system (all ills),but irl want to help everyone? God, it would be so easier if I was stupid reactionary. But I don't want to destroy what works. And there is so much that don't.
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雨、Some_porcupine、 逃げ出した後:Like, afraid of myself. I don't want to do anything of fear , consequences, fear of success, not knowing what to do if my dreams came through - then what? Will I be suicidal? Will I try to make new reality, where nothing stands on solid ground - where all that matters is improvement? But then what. Do I want that or it is not my dream, just something I want so I can belong?
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雨、Some_porcupine、 逃げ出した後:Too stupid-smart. False intelligence. Posh ego, but that don't boast - only that I do nothing, *superior* in my inaction, lying myself how smart I am, so I don't have to disrupt world.
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雨、Some_porcupine、 逃げ出した後:There has been discussion about when dude burnt the Talented kids school. LCD being, those are psychos who will go thru dead. I wonder what make me not be like that. I am exact opposite, emotional mess that can't do anything "to not hurt others". I wonder. Maybe I lack inter-personal skills too, so I try to greypill myself as evil, holding myself back on my own restrictions
3am, 16/7/23
Nechcem nikomu ublizit. Ale ak ublizia mne? Bude to fer? Alebo to bude len vyhovorka! Pomsta pomste? Ak to vsak necham byt (len tak), potom to normalzujem. Kto urcuje co este/uz je normalne, moralne - a co uz nie?! ~ Vyprovokovany/i!?
Ako ocakavat poslusnost, ak dana vec nedava zmysel a len utvrdzuje moc?! Ak si niekto (som to (aj) ja?) zo dna na den nieco zmysli, potom co zarucuje, ze je to aj spravne, ze to dava zmysel, ze by to - bez rozmyslu - mali robit aj vsetci ostatni, vacsina; vobec niekedy niekto?!
Homogenizacia (Generalizacia | „globohomo“ XD) ~ Attack na „nespracovany Normal (Normies)“ - bud nesuhlasis, *alebo* [sic] „podporujes Fasistov (strata vyznamu), Rasistov, Xenofobov, Pedofilov (/i)...
- Amerikanizacia, zozapadnenie sveta. - Kto urci, kedy dost; kde je „sever“!~$50-ova nalepka „Neznasam Kapitalizmus“~ je toto Sucastny - absolutny stav (/s) Sveta!? - Len jediná „Cesta“, „Sposob“ zitia/zivota, existencie, prezivania, myslenia? Korporatna „podpora“ [X] (len naoko) - len aby sa (tak-tak) „nezdvihli“ masy.
Som (to) teda zvedavy co sa stane, ked (ak) tato hra prestane byt zabavna (ziskova, popularna) a omamna, otupna, pre vsetky zainteresovane strany.
Pride nova Šaráda? Alebo nepokoje? Vyjde na povrch skutocna, neskreslena realita vecí; pokrytectvo, pretvarka, len (pre) vidina (nekonecneho) zisku; len „pouhé“ vykoristovanie trendu - „hip with the kids“!? ~ ako dlho nam toto vydrzi - ako dlho je toto všetko udrzatelne?!
Co je horsie - prijat neprijatelne, alebo (radsej) ostat sam?
Globalizacia trhu - bolo to nutne? „Demokratizacia“ tiez. Len zamienka, zisky, a vojny?
Ako moct vediet co je spravne a co nie!
Svet co sa meni a pouziva slova len ako frazy, ktorych vyznam sa (tiez) meni z roka na rok, z dekady na dekadu. ~ Smrdi to umelinou - kampanou (kto?), nefér hrou - kto meni vyznam, ma potom (s-) tú moc menit fakty(?), pravdy, pravidla, zmysel - robit(?) si z ludi blaznov...
Podpora™ (/s) inakosti; Anarchia(,) sponzorovana (/cyn) (korp.) znackami - falosna, na okrasu (pochvalu), nic nehovoriaca.
Poznas Green-washing - co tak ale Queer-washing? Pozlatko, trend - a v pozadi mozne vykoristovanie, prizivovanie sa - na „fanbas-e“ podpore spolocnostou (luds.).
- Preco vsak podporovat korporacie; ked, radsej, podporme(!) tych, co (priamo) vyrabaju tento merch (o.i.) ~ out-sorcing, off-shore... „Malé“ fabriky robotnikov v krajinach III. sveta, - kde o tychto „zhyralostiach“ ani chyru - ani slychu!!?(# No, thanks tho, „Orange Emily/pol/!“)
AGORA, NOSTALGIA, LEARNED LAZINESS AND MISTRUST INC.
~ # Queerpo-cracy/Corpo-Queercy...
Welcome, My Dear readers! 18/30s, 2/8/23
Sorry if this will end out weirdly. I just cant really write to the theme, you see. In those posts of mine, you met me at my lowest lows - and I am that type of writer who will write to ease out his head. So I guess, please Lord, let me turn this into something that will not be so self-centred and let me not be it at least not the half-bad the usual cry-anger-post.
This post is written as part of Agora Road Travelogue two-parter.
You might have seen Webring in the middle-top part of my „webpage" really. Also the part (and idea-rel. consisting of Friends [#PALS id-tag] Section. We know each other from Webring - and therefore, Agora.
Today, we will talk about this one place. Very nice place. Not quite for everyone. Well, yes, but „no". It is quite similar to how Old-Web used to be; before 2010s-mid 2010s trends come to be normalized, bastardized, on nose and then forgotten, shrug off and „repainted", as trends tend to *happen* (as the saying goes, „Average voter has memory of 6 months.") ...
Well - as You (dear reader) can see, I am pretty nostalgic right (t)here. There was something magical. Or that people were more open. Or I am just like those Old folks (to say it nicely) who cry about „good old days". You are not imune to Nostalgia Marketing - see Y2K trends comming back, Citypop 80s Revival or right (t)here - Old-Web Nostalgia...
Yes, that would be *it*. I miss what never was - Faux Nostalgia - Techzine Futures - things that „were promised", but never come to be, never stood the test of time, were always, really - just Vaporware...
As is too this one place. Just imagine this situation:
You started to frequent this Fandom about Aesthetics (plural) while ago, when you at once, find yourself on article/page on Y2K (Futurism). As you are, once in a while, reading the whole article much more aware than you are usually - you are startled and your brain freezes. „What did I just read? Place I dont know, a - secretative place? On Net? How is that!?"
You click. „Damn, cute. Whats the catch?" (You didnt read the article at all, now you recall.Your memories are mixed-up...) - Nostalgia huh. You love-hate that. It cant let you go. You cant let it. And those Fandomers too. Kids. And Kids who never grew up. -
I am angry-glad I am not „the only one". Well, what a typische attitude, an Aquarius INFP Enneagram 4 ... But you fit those both places. Agora and Aesthetics. Both of those, nostalgic. Kids, Children, Raised up [by Web] - those, longing for What never was - Y2K, Old-Web, idealized Nostalgia. False memory. Old folks with „in my times", „when [Communists]" and „Youd never survive with that attitude". It happened to us too. This curse of being human. With every generation, the pattern repeats...
And oh, those all Promises. „Imagine the Future if (only)..." basically. Fukuyama. Long Bloom ´97 Issue of Wired, Barrilé with Once upon a time...Space, those cheesy 1900s postcards of „[X] in 21st Century"... You wanna cry. You are nota lone, bet on that. But it may make you salty. Grumpy. „How dare they, too!?" - if you are (in all disgust you may feel for me) me - the author. Sorry not sorry for that.
Laziness, or, is it Disgust? Whatever those Dreams were. Shit that was told to us - „Internet will destroy capitalism; We will with help of it, eat the rich; Infinite prospect for all, thanks to infinite education and Human unity".
Sweet. At time, you could believe all that. Now, you grew up (depends) and learned from that mistake - and maybe even from some info on Web getting shadowbanned, deleted - and from your memories „how it all was", both good and bad - to not trust people. Others. Institutions.
Those elderly - I am not blaming them, you shouldnt too - they too, believed once. Conspiracies are just cope - you see, „world didnt used to be this big!" And being apart, it seems we were more connected, understanding. - Things need to be Special, really; from Mundanity comes... Laziness. You get used to it/that. Normalized behaviours, good and bad - learned (used to) - generalized, bastardized even. „Things never change.", if only you tried; but „what for!" Only if there was alternative to this Numbness - is this *the only one* World, Universe to live in, Reality!? - Alternative; Stirner, Fukuyama, Fisher at it again...
You were learned to be, made to be, what you are. It would be awesome to be able to accept unknown, - without any disonance at all, wouldnt it?! What would future then - present times now - look like then; we can only dream. Yet, why would we at all - isnt it all futile - waste of time, brainpower - to think of what we cant change; and, at times, not only about past - try to think about things where we have no influence... It is just „first-world problem", really(?). And „love" to self-hate under Rich bitch´es blame-game; how disgusting - yet, do you see???
Call [them] schizos, conspiratiories - tell what you want. But if you agree what I just told you - and I am not (sadly, LOL) alone, then - I can navigate you. As I said before (2x), there is this one place, and I too, mentioned it in this story already. - „Will you join the Black Parade?" /jk, will you *hold my hand*? Come and see, place to be, and Webring, if you seek - and learn, Kid...
Agora Road. Where did you may hear(d) it already? Rings a bell? T as in Traveler. O, maybe in „of". R - Road. But what Road? Road 66? Well, kinda maybe, you know - Route. Add R. Router. Add S. Routers. But what of T.O.R? Or is it TOR? What about now? Sounds familiar?
TOR - And Deep, Dark Web. Roads - and inspiration. Namesakes. Products. „On Router" - and in Real-life route. Onion's, - and, real life's - Silk Road. Agora Road too, in the first case too -
If you are kid of Old Web, you bet. Those stories. And greentexts. Copypastas. UrbDic. Feels nostalgic?
Those poor kids, you may say, seeing those „Newbies". Using only Surface Web! And apps! Blasphemy!! What we did (not) to them, I hear you say, am I? As if curiosity was gone! Buried in deep ends of 2000s and mid-00s. Where are those kids, who would dissect computer as if it was their sacred obligation? Or, would you wish your kid was one of Those? Perhaps even, you being That kid - can it be that!?
I wonder and cant find any answer. What happened to those, where are they now - was that thing with comps just one-time 80s-00s, Utopian Scholastic fad? What, precisely, happened between „Y2K" and 2010s, that this „fascination" stopped?
Is it simply vendor lock-ins, XaaS, phone apps and somewhat „nerd is cool now"? - Is that just psyop to „homogenize" all niche under „one roof", be-it Google, Fandom, Discord and so? -
But then, is it really just laziness and comfort, to not self-host, to go the way of least resistence, to not speak up your mind? - What can we lose, but return to what made Web, WWW, „it"!? It is *easy* to understand that those at the top dont want, allow, and shadowban you for that.
They radicalized „normies" unto thinking of „only way". If it isnt 55-150 words-a-line, if it isnt easily understandable and if it goes against neo-liberalism („solving" capitalism problems with even more of (it) capitalism). Generalizations, bagetelizations, simplifications. „Leaders know the best". As if! If only they cared - who will they have „slaves" of!? Does it make sense? Is something missing from this equation?...
But do you really care for being celebrity - do you? Or you just came here to make friends, to chat, to share Your part of world and view - as Net supposed to be in the first place!!?
- Talking about all that: Do you feel something, then? Maybe I am just „stupid-smart", someone who just scrapes surface of everything, and nothing at all (of it). So fake. So vain. - Just second-hand experiences and stories.
Who knows, really. If you are sucker for nostalgia, you could love Agora Road as well as I do. You may miss Forums, those were good - then youd love *that* place. Or maybe you hate it - hate that you can relate. I know that feeling if you are that dense as edgy, as I tend to be, when I find that „other does [thing] too" - funny-sad, isnt it...
Or I am too, very vague. As I said in the beggining, it is very hard to write about „things", when you are not used to do that. Feelings is what I can write for hours - without even getting to point. My brain just Works - or not, this way.
Agora Road!1/30, 13/8/23 (posted/written 14/8/23. after 18/37)[past 11pm, 15/8/23]
AGORA ROAD WEBRING TRAVELOGUE PT. II
You (yet to have [retrospect]) read the part 1, get ready for another one! As you know, I merged two of my Travelogue versions/prompts and, on postpone, posted them on my blog. As I am (was) writing this, that is, at least, in my plan to do. - I have (had) yet to do that, plus, (in-writing) post this(e) paper scribbles into my 10-ish years old notebook. LOL, what a sentence, or rather than that, an intro-starter...!
It is all funny and sad at the same time. I am, you see, quite press(ur)ing myself into writing. Long time no post. Feels like end. All ills are down (there), new ideas gone. And ideals - too. Situation is this - in a short time ago really, my net-pals on Discord (,) had started a talk about work-related migration, if that is the term of it. As we chatted, we compared stuff over with our lives-settings - our “hardness-modes”, if you will.
I don’t really want to go back to those memories that chat brought back to me. Let just briefly mention (of) the state (s) of “Shit-life-syndrome”, “Learned helplessness” and for many maybe new term, and that is “Milleniwave”. Upon looking it up you might find (out) that in fact, it could capture your life (experiences) too very well...
To that - and, let’s get really started; as this all was quite only a lengthy lengthy, leeengthy fore-word...
This sadness really, is quite ill-romantic. Yuck-yay! - I “really can (not) be trusted with emotions”, or so... That talk, it helped (or, rather not...) me to realize; myself. You, dear (periodical) reader then, had many occurrences with me - “reading me” literally and - the blog, where you met my “in shitter”, doomer side.
- Heh (ouch), that is “your brain on internet” - you just got really bombarded with malicious propaganda and in-your-face doomerism. That been for a while. Learning really, from radio, TV, news; and that you can really draw a dots leading from butterfly to tornado; any quick.
Worse of it - we learned to look for any ridicule, ourselves. Just as a simple pass-time fun! And media too, can add to that. Making (wannabe) things up, false leads, - draws attention to random points, to “make” wannabe “news”. Feed/Fear/Feel/Fad for thought(s)... Well, a little branch-off, a cul-de-sac - what I wanted to say was - and it has nothing with previous than that, point; fear and disgust is, - what “made” us like this?
Instincts, yes; and? It is that our brains are, without stimuli, bored to hell and back - yeah? We seek for thrill, danger; for us to be active (one way or another), thinking. So - that is default brain function then, indeed. - To blame? Only those misusing (of) that! And pattern-seeking, too. And crap. Here we go again.
Another schizopost. (Not unhinged. Only wordsalad, and out of what I was intended to say/talk about - few paragraphs earlier.) Then now, let me (myself! please!) go to the point, shall we?!
- Sadness, emotions, shitter... We are onto something, hurray! So, instincts, - yes. That; I can’t just let it go - seeking always the worst, I am at my lowest low. But I got (ah) hope (that) there are some similar people like me, or that there are better ones than/to me!
I don't want to be bad
Unless I want to
If I hurt bad people, not those who deserve it..
But who does really?
But do I have to wait, til world will roll me, or for me to go fucking over and go rampant...
What I have to lost, If there is not real me yet
I just always did what people wanted because I had no sense of self
It is more painful to create some fake self that never was, that to be just moved at moves of wind
Oh thanks, but this is fine.
I just lost sense of words.
So much anger and lost.
I just don't want to do any job because way to go there, is it worth it? I really don't find joy in anything. No hobby. It is only sad now that I recall...
I mean, you need to find passion, then do some school or course, then again again again then work, then improve yourself , and for what. To do what you want? For others? For job... For boss? For power-trip, people-pleasing, for yourself to feel good and _above" others!? It is just joke...
14. srpen 2023
“Thanks, neoliberalism! Omodetou, Stakeholders! Selling countries to corporations! (I see you, Cyberpunk and Neo-Feudalism, no hiding behind “Normacy” mask!”) {lost future:}
Stolen, lost, milleniwavy (no-) future - 100s of opportunities, easy jobs-market, ready-to hop (on) jobs... It makes me reminiscent, really, over American dream allegory! - Was it, too, a rosy nostalgia, or was it (once...) real? Who remembers if (now)...
Remember 2007-ish? We were all(?) hyped about - now, (it) sounds so childish - something punky; in-between the words of “internet unity/unifying (Global village coffeehouse-ish), capitalism-ending, revolutionary, status quo-crushing, norms-breaking...”
- Only if more of “that”, for (in) real. Instead, it - faded out? Was corrupted/captured, trivialized (laughted out), generalized, later normalized (behaviour), simplified (dumbified), of its potential, in name of “normalcy” (and buying/selling power)(?). And here we are - net is yet another “same old TV”.
Psyop, using users influx of post - mid-2000s, rendering that (old 80s-90s nerd-web)(and, “utopia”) a fable, legend, dream?!
Too chaos, too big; for (it, being) reality...
2,08/7,9,23
PAVLOVIAN EDU -VS- SELF (Agora September Blogging)
I hate political commentary on Youtube, but I do (watch) it, bc. I am *just curious*. Too long, too boring, too political and many if not all, seems so same(lar).
Some „punk“ just talking theories - but nothing else. It is no use. Examples are to be made, no talked into - words got no use w/o action(s), isnt it!? It is that what makes me furious about those know-it-alls and radicals and dreamers. Thanksgod I got no (new/unheart) theme or voice, or be(ing) *that* nonsensical and radical „edgy S_W“!
But why I watch what I hate?
I got/get no answer. Maybe I just like to hurt myself. No action, yes - *totally Me*. Fuck that.
You see, I (do) hurt myself many times - but it is still enjoyable. Not kinks (doubt...) and (anything) physical, talking here.
What I say is - it is easier to do useless, nothing-providing shit that is useless and hurts still (in ways...), than to ever let myself get hurt in any other, meaningful, impactful, char-building way; than to just let this *other* type, way of hurt just „pain“ the less...
It hurts more, but is easier - to crush spirit and soul, is to get less „work“, than to break my humanity and just write off the rest of it, as (with) myself too!
Ah, when used to it - what is just broken spirit, to anything - it was, is, all black, either way?! No surprises. Pain more, Effort - less...
1/46 ~ 47, 23/9/23 (Agora Road, September - Vol. II)
Skúsim písať po slovensky, možno mi napadne nejaká nová, aspoň dajaká, myšlienka.
Viete, tá teória (stále?) o jazykoch, premýšľaní - a to (je?) príslovie - Koľko jazykov vieš, toľkokrát si človekom ~ a ako sa vraj meníme, podľa toho akým jazykom premýšľame; a že (?) „prepíname“; keď sme jedna osoba v jednej reči a ďalšia v druhej - potom, kto tomu „velí“; vie, čo kedy a prečo si myslieť?
Môže sa takto prejaviť úplne iná osobnosť - ale, bádam, že snáď len jej časť?! Ak by sme teda mali takto nad tým, a podobným, premýšľať, potom mi ešte napadá - viete, ako sa, a to i nedobrovoľne, meníte na základe toho, s kým ste - ale v skutočnosti môžeme skôr hovoriť o našej (rozdielnej) otvorenosti v/pri situácii, podľa ľudí, pozície v danej skupine a v čase - nejde teda o to, že ste niekým iným s každou inou „bandou“ - nebola by to (vari) strašná záťaž na mozog, ak by to bolo tak? A predsa - ak si toho môžeme všimnúť (uvedomiť); ako sme „iný“, potom, prečo sa toto aj tak deje?
Prečo proste nemôžete/-eme byť vždy „sami sebou“; je tento proces intuitívny(,) a prirodzene zabudovaný v našich hlavách? Ak áno, tak prečo? Snáď ide o ochranu/obranu? Alebo mozog, znova, „šetrí“ tým, že zjednodušuje, selektuje, čo sa v danú situáciu, skupinu - hodí? To by potom, zamyslim(e) sa, mohlo vysvetľovať i to, prečo nedokážeme myslieť „ako“ (to robia) stroje.
na to, ako mozog funguje, je zázrak, že sa nám skôr podarilo obísť princíp jeho fungovania, a skôr vyvinúť stroje, kalkulačky a počítače, ako (skôr) prísť na to, ako/akým spôsobom, „rôsol“ v našej lebke dokáže vôbec niečo; a vôbec, niečo („“), ako tieto stroje - vymyslieť a zostrojiť. Za všetkým stojí (len) myšlienka.
+No čo stojí (za (ňou)), tvorí(,) myšlienku? netuším; možno to ani nechcem vedieť. len preto, aby ~tu~ ostalo niečo(...) zaujímavé(bo).
Ak budeme vedieť „všetko“, čo nám potom ostane? Plakať?
Možno je ^to všetko strata času. Možno (pochybujem) preto svet tak „chladne“. Reductio ad absurdum - zredukovala naše city na záchvaty, „fity (angl. „fits“)“ serotonínu a dopamínu. Vedieť =/= (!=, !==) rozumieť.
Môžeme vedieť veľa a nerozumieť ničomu. A tiež, môžeme rozumieť, no nevedieť. napr.) (e.g.) „Láska“. Môžeme ju „rozobrať“ (dekonštruovať) na chémiu - no nič to nezmení - nemá cenu bojovať voči princípu; ohranenom/ohraničenom (len) nami stanovenými protiváhami...
*AGORA ROAD TRAVELOGUE - OCTOBER <I.>: "CYCLES" / 9/10/23, 12:46AMMom is operating on way of "if I got no evidence you are making things up", she tries to care, but in our family this is just too over.
Can my body lie? Why I feel what I feel? Is it just skill issues? Even if, why is it so hard to start/get over!
Cursed cycle. Reminds me of no edu - no job Cycle. Same principle, - even, skill issue...
I thought this talk is over, but no; I can still write about this same theme. *So as of I ran out of ideas, I'd edit the header of this (*and, tadaa, it is Blogpost now!)
AGORA ROAD TRAVELOGUE - OCTOBER <II.>: "faking feeling Fine" / 10/10/23, cca 0:45~1:05AM
hello dear reader! here we go again, with my new blogpost, no.2,
maybe even just 1 1/2!
today/-night, i want to talk about feeling of
faking things(,) in your head. also could be wannabe called as (much term)
"toxic positivity". but not only that!
other cases might be(:) feeling lost - so,
creating to-be anchor, fixed point. so-to oversimplifying, generalizing
things. you hate to do this, but dont know any other way! you know, feel
that something is "off", smell funny(-bad). - but, only just to pinpoint to
that!
~ hm. wrapping shit into staniol and pretending that;
"it has to be this way!"; <art> second-guessing. also also also, pretending it has "to-be!",
ignoring, blaming... but really; - you can only get away with hiding
something only for so long ~ as the saying goes, <hm>
"dovtedy sa chodí s krčahom po vodu kým sa nerozbije/ucho
neutrhne". (-) you can only pretend so many ways so much to fake-cope, until it will
start to(?) make you feel guilty. and you start to feel like shit. and (to)
forget. and (i)dk why... and you start to get used to it/that.
"when/why?" but all there "is" is(,) that(:); one era of life
you was happy - and another, you hate *it*, but you (start) to relate
much(,) to
"aftergifted; iam14andthisisdeep (and) miss 2000s, 2009"s. "*just*" development!?
one day, you blink, and wake up as someone totally
new. once happy and then, as one of those "failed" teens... <flaw in
society?> /
~ you just fake; so to not bother. maybe you want to
cry, to tell... but there is no place no time; no reason.
~ you'll grow apathic. if no one why me - if not me why (then) others do...
/
fake, as a shortcut. it takes too long to figure out the feeling u r
feeling? try faking "fine (good)!" state! /s* ~ and you want to blame, and
cry and scream - but it seems so pointless, futile, frustrating, annoying,
takes time energy... <"this_is_fine"_meme.jpeg> you want people to actually see, but (you) are(?) afraid, but so
too(,) await, to just implode, like some supernova in(to) one giant fit of
rage
(*dont do that! dont supress things-emotions!)
- like kaiju, or berserk beast, and or, an evangelion (unit)
...
#male, fem feelz XD?
1/21, 3/11/23 =Only (or two) Ways of Life= (Nov-I-Agora)
I'm not dissociative I have quite the opposite problem... I see a lot of patterns, oof. (LOL...)
But another thing. You see, as I stood up from my comp and looked outside the window at night "city", an thought occurred. Something in words of " only (or two) ways of life".
/*
(I'm) sorry if this will get nonsensical, I write as my "bugs" (thoughts, fears, associations ...) go, roam around (in) my head. To say, I don't edit or read much after myself - if I wrote this directly on comp, that would be 105% true/truth. So now on paper, I have to cringe over My Future Self that will/feel cringe at about my past, "(after)morning" Self. Well what a joke...!
*/
/*- non-sequitur -*/
A lot of intermezzos again, I see! (Critique, a-live, in-writing) Where where we. Um, I see - you may heard (to end this part; *misremembering, I forgot parts...*) "Don't kill cringe, kill the part of you that cringes!" And I can't say my honest opinion on that (but I will anyway). Well (" deep"), one part of me says " excuses to be Edgelord", another " I am just a Joke", then(,) " normalcy is just average and mean!" (Laugh *now*!), but "Laws of Nature (God) dictates reality, and even with our miniscule senses, wouldn't it be but at least embarrassing if they had no this Nature's use(fulness)!" - so in short, we can say "and He saw it is/was Good" [sic]...
/*- end of non-sequitur -*/
Slightly touching on the proposed theme (*Finally!*), we can now connect these "random" points, of [Ways]...
Ways. You (somewhat...) read this - so what do you think, what makes something Normal? For me, personally, - I get no clue. And I might be so disgusted by way we are heading towards future (cyberpunk, technocracy, neo-feudals, credit Systems; bleh...), but I rather don't want to know and see "how" it "is" (to be (this way))...
Sorry not sorry for being ignorant here, I'd love to know another way - you may have seen some situation where (mainly politics) people merged together so they all could be (hurt /s) heard, despite the nonsense and randomness it all looks like - see alt-left and Hammas; "Ale osobne si myslím, že je to len dočasná vlna naivity... v 80. rokoch sa feminizmom prehnala vlna boja proti pornografii a feministické skupiny sa v tomto boji spájali s rôznymi často antifeministickými skupinami, čo nakoniec podkopalo celý myšlienkový prúd..." (
View: https://twitter.com/AdinaTheWitch/status/1719106146122781117
) ... - have a read here: https://forum.agoraroad.com/index.php?threads/weak-men-are-superweapons.6185/post-91298 ...
- they are desperate. All or Nothing; "Support [A] too, or let -us be/-you cook."... - ">reddit
moment", dare to name/call it that. - Hating exploitation but loving
capitalism. Hating corporations, but loving < niche, pricy
brand>...> listen: You sound too dumb this way - being so same to " enemy", duh...
When there is no one good to pick up from, what to do? "Good or bad"; two. Alt or Mainstream. You *Are*, or *(are) Not*. But as time goes - things get Hip, and Out. One day, "your" alt will (is) Mainstream; and what once was P trueop is now... Alt; bad, weird, old...
Politics is Rich's field. Like recreo-math (is) for Smarts...
<skips thoughts> but if you mistake your Can's and Care's, those Rich's won - what you Care if you Can't? Can, if you Care! (But yeah, Rich can afford to risk, fall and learn from mistakes...) - if you Can't *Afford* to fail, to risk, to make mistakes, then you Caren't about what you are stolen of... <mad about that Risks part...>
12.11.2023 17:19:38 - Kitty Burrito? (Agora - NOV-II)
i like to write. just like that. this is a shitpost. because it is the (for) sake of it. it feels good and bad. it makes no sense. it is all i hate; and love. i just wanted (to). this should have a theme wouldnt it. i feel bad. ive been played on. futures that never came to be. glorious post-2000s, 2010s, where we... lived, and shit happened. it only get worse. instead of GVC „idealism", corporate neoliberal surrealism that looked good, became cyberpunk. do, or be banished. obey, or question your morale and sanity, reality.
are you here with me? lets hold hands, cry, demise and curse. lets *** with me. do you need me? what about others, do the need you? what are you to them those? and why, why you think that? have you ever knew anything for sure, no doubts? it feels like Smashing (whatever) Patriarchy was just switch-a(n)d-bait to get you on hook. the net that dont forget and forgive. instead of net to wrap as close as „kitty burrito", it became...
what it became? finding the words! it, it, it - net of lies. of false smiles. smiles so familiar - fake smiles, those always there, present since forever - those, amplified! instead of kitty burrito, it was abused. no fighting patriarchy (whatever it means), no questioning authority or sanity - it, the authorities, stole it. kitty burrito became dome that reflects all of the toxicity humanity want to get rit of themselves. the greenhouse effect - only mental one. instead of positivity and love, support;
it is easier to cry, vail and blame yourself, others - like this - this Effect, it cooks us, „let (him) us cook" alive. and oh yes. these fake smiles. everything is fine because you, me, we are, afraid. the old „good" ways feels, „are" safer that anything new. stockholm syndrome of sorts. do you hear? the Mark. F for Fisher. press F. press those Fuckers outta consensus. when good is questioned and evil is normalized, all we can hope for is, to be proven wrong.
but how we can ever know if we ignore things? because it is easier, easier than to face consequences, truth, than to admit... we are not special, we are not „new generation". people simple cant outsmart themselves. only to heal. it takes ages, generations. to take the bitter pill - to get out of your ways. to get out of your ass. to... to help. but if you fake it? it feels bad. but if it dont hurt anyone , anyone else, and if it even helps them - then let it be. you suffered enough, so why would others too?
you can dream of revenge. but what out of it? hurting is easy. but to admit you are not special, not messiah, not angel - that you dont have to dance around eggshells to make others, and on alone some Globalists who predicted everything wrong - to prove them you are afraid, controlable, able to be lied to... this is not protest. this is listening to yourself. this is, to make - do, return to senses! „i said so!", so they [say]. but what they are, your mother!? (no! if you see bad - listen your conscience)
" social studies in STEM?" (Opinion)
When did "education for the sake of it"
(Deluze and Frankfurt School; https://canadianpatriot.org/2022/11...d-the-rise-of-the-predictive-modelling-mafia/)
became popular, a "thing to do"?! it pisses me off! Also - that "thing" with "social impact!" (fakers...) , since when began "antisocial egoistic autists" (generalizing every name in the book) being a problem?! I remember if then I don't lie, how skills being honed first before anything ( no matter the f*ck of s*** "the provider" of them was) - since when is this "different"!? (Teamwork? collab? sot skills? social life? no-need to fight with others (rat-race mentality)? Master over Self - to be go-getter? No longer Pavlovian conditioning, sugar&whip??)
Is this some thing with Facebook , or and other Big Media, i.e. in the name - e.g. too, PayPal Mafia "crooks"? Genial-but-psycho - therefore, mid-2010s ( or does it started to cook in the mid-90s; earlier?) started to play by the different book - you don't want to have to be genius-only , and you have to be decent person, " not some" geek-NEET-no-soft-skills-know-it-all-snob!!?
I am actually mad as fuck nobody told us; this was dirty play! Don't Go near me...
NEXT: AFRAID TO LIVE - written, ˘ planned
NEXT: WE DONT NEED WORKERS, WE NEED FAMILY(TM)
NEXT: YT-BLACKPILL - EXTRA-SJW "NOTEECER" PIPELINE
everyone knows that, cca 2009, life begins to be s***. few (4-year (net)) eras , we can say, flipped on its head - victims fight back and if they didn't told you so you'd be convinced that those would they fight against should yell louder, as they, it seems, get hurt more. /smug
But, as it is past 2009, or; 2016, no one can be sure on s***. Also, reminds me of "whig history"?
(* basically you try to compare eras gone to the modern times, but without any context*)
I was so snob that I ever pushed everyone and everything away just to... Be "edgy"... Aquarius idiot! Afraid to be like every shit kid, I was a snob and posh... If someone had save me back then, from myself! Now I miss "(G)olden Days" I almost didn't have.
"So important" (snobbish), so afraid to be dumb, make mistakes, the bond, (to) "saaame"...
to Live!
agora-blog III.: WE DONT NEED WORKERS, WE NEED FAMILY(TM): "Jobs vs. "what is this all even for!" " (doomerism, technocracy, titles, "skills"...) - 6/12/23, cca 7:04pm agora time
Sign of toxic work culture - when boss want more than the job makes off as bare minimum.
You might have noticed the trend where people warn each other to do bare minimum the job ask for.
It is, really, nothing difficult, that kind of thing (only with twist) was already described by Good soldier Svejk.
Just tiny addition of blatant over-literal behavior to all that. Without, it is just "what for!"-ism - alpha and omega of doomerism...
People, and younger genz mainly, got it all over themselves - "if you cant win, why to ever try!", sarcastic façade of "i hate Antichrist;" "1769 - the "Industrial Revolution" incident (Trollge) by mOWEN the lawn", and many copy-cats of basically "World is fucked (and Boomers are to blame)".
Ah yes, blame... Waiting for hero... Story old as time itself...
It feels very disheartening, but what would YOU do in their place? Game seems to be rigged from the start. And stories of "Just grow a pair", "Pain will teach you", and other trauma excuses dont help. The most repeated one is "I just entered building or just frolicked thru street, guy say "dont want job?", shook his hand, looked in the eyes, - and get the job". You want to change it all, you want to blame others - but you are "so over" - what to ever fight for. World is changed, mamon rule them all, there is just lies and you either "die a hero, or live long enough to became villain", basically...
Add subscription hell to all that, no direction for life, no goal ("everything is subjective and futile anyways")... but that really gets us to the next post...
- similar themes: Some_porcupine:
View: https://www.reddit.com/r/neoliberal/comments/18bnscv/have_we_transitioned_to_a_vibesbased_economy/
,
View: https://www.reddit.com/r/decadeology/comments/18blful/people_are_already_romanticizing_the_2010s/
NEXT: YT-BLACKPILL - EXTRA-SJW "NOTEECER" PIPELINE
20/56 (57), 23/12/23
@
cookies, pipelines and ego-traps of [/gen] echo-chambers
Unordered Society- A culture that is no longer in the hands of the creatives
Society is Artificial Due to Feedback Loops Created by Unwitting Marketers
The Normalization of SJWs and its Effects on Western Culture
"Yes you No" ideologies exceptionalism, merging
many groupthinks "for better" , accounted-for(,) stances, than
to rather be left alone - unwilling, "z núdze cnosť",
pragmatism:
snarkly speaking, the "I seen... (Prepare to
die.)" speech (forgot that one i seen on twitter), but i got
from it was - the contrdictions one can cope with, to (id repeat
myself) not be "left alone" in the identity politics
"representation" you see (wrong types one), - you see, the
things (among others) Disney and R.T.D (Doctor Who writer) are
doing. And too, making history "whig";
"History" that was
in the past unheard of, that could never have had happened, just
couldnt; the fantasy of , and that too, - white (majority)
people who "dont get" the struggles , who werent there...
Taking
history outside its own making, context, off time...
*now* - 17/1/24, 1:29 PM
"Trends, social media, reality" > Part of Agora Travelogue
Trends i keep seeing:
citing from Decadology r/ sub, asking about "why (r) 2010 bad", you can see what people think (but beware, it is still >reddit after all, so there is no real guarantee this is Reality) :
- [MEDIA=>redditcostanzayeahrightsmirk]decadeology/comments/1970qks/comment/khyesqn[/MEDIA]
does *these* (similar ones) feel fake, or is it just me?
While i get *you* (and many *such cases/posts), felt, feel the same - then, why do you lose hope ffs, if you literally said we "were made to be broken"! i am tired of types like you (and myself for lying to me than i am Different...), who can only type such things but when it is "about to cut a bread" (slovak proverb, idk the english version), you just passive-aggressively wait for asteroid, purge, hell incarnate or befallt of society... if you want it, do it!
but again, i get you; sadly.
you may be afraid that if you wish, then it will get good for a while, and then go topsy-turvy and backfires. well, you are not any Master (in high castle), to not be influenced by your actions, wishes... as they say, "way to hell is paved with/by good intendations"...
/ snarkiness, helplessness, complaining, hate, (unneeded hostility) (*1), aggressivity, mistrust about everyone and everything...
are we afraid of each other? or tired, of everything, of people, of... "facade" we see, feel from everything; that "it stands on water/sand"??!!...
(*1) https://forum.agoraroad.com/index.php?threads/being-able-to-use-a-computer-mouse-is-not-considered-standard-knowledge-in-education.4818/post-49698 (take this as example) -
- but i dont still know what caused this change in mood... >
i call it, this vibe, lifestyle, attitude "Let them cook", by the way it presents itself - twitteroos and some tumbl(e)rinas "existing" in this state of (their) reality - when someone "deserves" something (bad), but problem being, it is just minuscule, or grandiously mistaken/inflatted problem, and most of the time, those "problems" are not real! there are just basically Philosophical questions, wannabe stated as "friend of a friend" type situation/simulation. again, these can happen, but could be, most are - misunderstood. and revenge is never good. why to revenge, if they dont understand/dont feel/dont know... it is wasting energy on what you cant change anyways!
> what we lost, and who "got me", who share this same "memory"... (of future that is now lost)
(click on link/username under =this= message)
and (regarding to nerdture, changes and education cca...)
Nail on the head with these two sentences. Every gripe I've ever had with fandoms condenses into this, and it's the reason I believe some level of gatekeeping is necessary in online cultures. There are total normalfags out there who assume they hold esoteric knowledge of the Star Wars universe just because they understood a reference to it on The Big Bang Theory. There are people who only ever play AAA games and never played something from before their own time, yet assume they know everything about gaming because they played le nerdy Skyrim. It's that kind of attitude that gave Starfield the "most innovative gameplay" Steam award; not because Bethesda paid anyone, but because gaming has spread to a mainstream culture that doesn't actually understand the medium. - https://forum.agoraroad.com/index.php?threads/fandoms-and-nerd-culture.6357/post-97882 ([USER=6626]@GENOSAD[/USER])
0/36, 15/2/24 - Agora Travelogue
/*this was like 3rd try to post blog no. 2 on feb24 so rather be good*/*this is how i feel...*/*just imaginations; nothing of this is probably real?*/
0/45, 23/2/24; "Postmoderna" (Agora Road Travelogue 2, Feb24)
Cim viac toho vieme, tym len viac slovami vieme ospravedlnit nase spravanie. Su vsak toto limity poznania? Nic viac od zivota, ak je vase IQ, a mozno aj EQ, v "priemere"?
Ale ludia zili aj horsie! Lenze vzdelanie bolo vtedy dlho drzane v uzadi a za hradbami, murmi. Ale nemohli predsa uz vtedy sedliaci mysliet, ked je nam to take vlastne? Ak mali vacsie starosti, pravdepodobne nemali cas na filozofovanie - az snad na nejaky druh Stoicizmu; mozno...
Mysliet bolo dojakziva vyssou triedou, ak sa nim zaoberali ti z nizsej, opovrhovane, zatracovane; zatajovane, zakazovane a nemravne/podryte - nechceli prijst o svoju moc/kontrolu, vyhody.
Az pri asi Francuzskej revolucii, ludia uz mali dost vyfintenych, bestarostnych, lepsie oblecenych a povrchnych ludi, co "zjedli vsetku mudrost sveta". A toto sa doteraz nijako nezmenilo (triedny boj). Akurat ti hore si teraz myslia, ze nas mozu ovladat vseljakymi moznymi sposobmi - strach, ignoracia a potom zrada, rozne navnady a pasce, sluby... Moj "oblubeny" je, ked zmiesaju dokopy dve volby a vyjde z toho blbost
> https://forum.agoraroad.com/index.php?media/1700389458762-png.25270/full (*blbe EU zakony nariadenia a ciele, navrhy).
Namiesto cukru a bica, je to teror luxusu, pohodlia a zvyku(**). Priamociarost (WEF, ESG, Green Deal*) EU, ale aj Agendy a veci, ktore by sa v Unii uhlia a ocele pokladali za miesanie sa do veci, do ktorych ich nic nie je (miss you, 2005s EU...). Taktiez, strata Alternativy - "Pocuvaj, alebo zhor", ziaden priestor pre diskusiu... Propagenda, zvyk** - Vsetko alebo nic; zmena vyznamu (;#)
> [MEDIA=tumblr]did=f70e9497215d673c18ca6401370188d76bc147ec;id=742217281137000448;key=8tm8-Mu8q_EOWg1Cfu3GGA;name=nutzo0001[/MEDIA]
View: https://www.tumblr.com/nutzo0001/742217281137000448
* (Ludia uz su znechuteni tym, ako EU; byrokrati zavadzaju. Vravia jedno a urobia to, ale tym takym Svejkovskym sposobom...) Dnes si nepresla ani (Dohoda) Ozona vrstva, nie to GD. Ak by boli 90., 00., mozno... Uz je trochu neskoro menit veci. Ked je teraz kazdy "reporter", uz sa nic co sa uverejni, neda ututlat...
#/ monopolizacia - napr.) terajsie Farmarske protesty proti (ne-)hospodareniu EU , ako aj boli civilizovane a civilne, boli "ukradnute" pro-ruskymi zivlami, ktore su proti-EU (obe skupiny kritizuju EU, ale jedny chcu rozhovor a "rozum"/informovat EU(*), druhi chcu zvrat a rozpad EU "diktatury"***); alebo podobne - ked Antifa, Furries chcu byt v Lavici/Left-wing alebo LGBT+ klube, ale ti slusnejsi a menej priebojni (90. typy) to povazuju za hrubost a hanbu. (Horko-tazko ich akceptuju "z nudze cnost")...
*** "Zelene strechy sposobuju, ze sa meni pocasie, pretoze trava sa musi naucit na novu vysku panelaku.", "Mal som radsej ked v potravinach este boli bakterie, teraz je vsetko take bez chuti a sterilne!" /s (etc.)
(pic-rels: (I hate neoliberalism, fuck 1971) : https://forum.agoraroad.com/index.php?media/albums/lost-future-post-occupy-nonsense-world-boring-dystopia.39/)
***
POV: Agora je miesto(,) kde sa ludia chodia vyplakat
Agora Road Travelogue, Mar. II '24
ak(o) ste si mohli vsimnut, poslednu dobu (ale asi klamem; 6/23 - doteraz) sa toto (Agora) miesto, "utocisko odpadlikov", stava coraz viac podobne 4chanu, ani nie tak Redditu ako Twitteru (Xeetu), a nie celkom kulture, ale ponimaniu upvotov (>reddit
, (x)-overflow)...zacina prevazovat stádová, redditovska, azda az tumblerovska bublina. ako? - tato Bublina, za sebou "zanechava" mastny flak v podobe "pachute" po (cca) tzv. Singularite, ba circlejerku - Honikruhu; - Polarizacii...
Ludia sa *sem* chodia vyplakat. "Novinka", ze? /s. Ked uz nemozete povedat hocico (rip internet 2000-2008). [chcel som prelinkovat kazdu vetu s kazdou, ale aj tak to budete citat cele takze hadam pochopite nuance a suvislosti vsetkeho so vsetkym]
mozeme sa nazdavat, ze tento jav je (vseobecne) pre skupiny (/b) tak typicky, ako je pre politikov (hlavne v case volieb) pouzivanie Slippery Slope - Smyklavky. Jednoducho: Date im prst (sancu, nadej, pozornost) a oni Vam budu chciet zobrat celu ruku (Overtonovo okno - alebo ba "po novom, redefinovanom" definicia Dialektiky)... - E.g.) "pedofilia je typ sexuality", "veda je novodobe nabozenstvo, dogma", ci "je zbytocne triedit odpad/smeti"...
/ "Novinari" (medialne nadnarodne spolocnosti) "zistili (o "vyskume")" to, co aj chceli "dokazat" (co im prikazali "vydedukovat", strasit, nakazat/"spracovat"...!).
netreba sa nad polarizaciou Agory ani nejako hlboko zamyslat. Vacsina registrovanych sem prisla z 4chanu, fringe videi a prostredia, - ako su osobe neocities stranky, /x/-board, konspiracie a alt zaujmy. Unik pred realitou a "web 3.0".
"Posledna bašta slobodneho, neobmedzeneho nazoru a rozhovoru". Necudo potom, ze su vsetky nazory, ktore (sme; tu) kedy videli, su len prezivane, zauzivane, zauzivane, predžuté, dopredu predostrete ako "fakty", "jedina mozna realita, skutocnost"...
sem, kde sen neumrel a namiesto downvotu, mozete /s radsej pokazit (ale kazi to dojem o Vas) vlakno a zmenit ho na Shitpost, Hovnoplagatenie - kde hadky a "výjtky", žabomyšie (pol.) vojny nemaju konca-kraja. (Nemam rychlo priklad. To si aj tak musite zazit na vlastnej kozi. ) [/ pre toto fóra upadli (boli shadowbanned googlom) do zabudnutia... /? ]
preto je Teoria mrtveho (zombie) internetu (D.I.T.) taka pritazliva - ak uz ste na internete "nejaky ten piatok" (min. AD 2008s) a zazili ste youtube predtym ako ho Google a spolu s celym webom/internetom "zneutralizovali/vykastrovali" mega-monopoly, - viete...; a mladsi o tom poculi uz tiez (inak by ich tu uz tolko nebolo) [e.g. https://archive.is/https://twitter.com/MintaReturns/status/1672081890759819264], - "ake to bolo kedysi (skvele)" ("World wi(l)de we(b)st")
polarizacia a negativita (/ psy-opy tuto vlastnost Grup ((b) neviem najst to meme - "timfoil", "rozklad skupiny, fandomu newbies-mi") zneuzivaju.) prichdzaju, ked namiesto inovacie a novych, neobohratych nazorov (len!) "stale ocakavate (status quo? ; ) nove robenim dookola toho stareho a isteho" (ako to Einstein povedal...)
https://sites.google.com/view/filozofia-blog-zloha/blogy/pt-iii#h.ru4e26np0miy
maybe this is shit, but let me see (now when i reread this how i write it up from paper - it is kinda Machiavellian, even if i am not sure, never read anything from him, only know the broad sense of the(m) noun...)
1/4/24, 0/45 Agora travelogue, April I.
=Internet: Between Owning and Renting=
Or, "Packet(Light)switching and Clickbait"/life for rent
you make web. do you own it? do you rent it? what are the Terms? and isnt this similar to real life? ah yes. dont let me (get) started on "Overlords (Neofeudals)", buying out physical media... "renting is the king!" as if they said... (bleh, vile!)(a)
it is, internet. and real life too. you own, or rent, or both. (/a >) it starts with homes and ends with (TV) Cable, phone "Stuff"; ends with internet and wifi box - router... you rent then - your "Place/Platz" on the IP map, among other/-s things. IPv4 or v6, you are "in"; your "Block", (even with) number too...
Terms apply. but what can be done, if there are, rather bad "Easter eggs" (when we have Easter now, in Western Church...)? as i said; those Overlords from earlier - how we "let that slide" - the Cabalists (TINC) to get (so) normalized - as the rent (physical; home), hypo or PPC, P2W are too?!
is this what we wanted; or there really wasnt any Other option that to [agree] on Reaganite Neoliberalism - so (in past) wanted - and so exploitable (that was the plan?)?!
"Too many cooks...", differences, soc. values and types... man to man wolf? / but is there other way?! ah, those darn (Frutiger) Aero promises! (i'd hate those too, if they were ever *realized*, i am sure...) / for there are always ulterior motives, e.g.
- promises are only good if you dont know the reason why they are (not) even *realized*... (b)
(/b) "we got you what you wanted, it would be now nice if you [paid back; for "progress"; this luxury..."]...
therefore: "suck *the means* up, the [future once promised] finally arrived/came (to be)!" (/b; /a)
.
.
.
ref.:
View: https://twitter.com/MKatorin/status/1678641211362488322
View: https://x.com/MKatorin/status/1678642611911897088?s=20
View: https://x.com/Mean_n_Pervy/status/1678704948689682432?s=20
=LOST; IN THE DREAMS OF "NPC-LESSNESS"=
What did you want to be as kid?
I wanted to be(...) astronaut, artist (Warhola, Rothko), scientist, archaeologist... Until the time I forgot about it, stopped to care, or when I ended Elementary (sch.) - (...) and someone, iirc my memory right, asked maybe, "And now (after,) what?" And I kinda listened to that.
I was kinda "gifted", but really what you imagine, the genius kid... (/*)
Random facts memory, great (over-)imagination, pop-sci Space (universe) buff, interested (to my later ircks with it) in everything...
But teacher, now i recall, said and I realize it now, trully, the "C-graders employ A-graders; and if you will be even the one-in-milion, then...[don't be dick?]..." (And the rest is - I forgot, but I can, and maybe you so, deduce the subtext, context...)
I was up in my imaginations about those (and other) new science discoveries... That got old and aged like milk, nowadays... e.g. space elevator, aerogel, nanotubes from carbon, flu virus can potentially cure cancer if [journbros eye-boggeling yap]... - did, had you too, imagined [the future as] Meet the Robinsons? That, and Robots too, ruined whole generation of kids, - already "living there" - in their heads...
I never cared. Was "sponge", but never paid real attention to subtext... One day, I stopped to care totally, became lazy (also depressed - puberty, now I realize; and world too, "has to die every minute"...) and classmate, who was bad-mid on english vocab, jumped me over (on it). Teacher was dissapointed and worried, - but I was never taught how to learn! (*)
That is The great tragedy... Life can pass you by, and if you will always stay where you are, things get over...
As a kid, I was frequently sick, and missed my "initiation" to "class society". Also, I was scared - of everything. Never tried anything - and if, then it was out of spite - and that rarely ended any good...
Ah, do you see as I whine here? I am kinda sure I wrote something similar before anyways.
But why I say you all this?! I was, my theme - on about, "lies we no longer believe!" The classics, "Study hard and then... (you'd get a good job or idk.)"
I think we lost hope, future no longer happens, 2025 is at the door, yet, we live in contemporary 2010s, 200Xs, where as if 90s, Y2K's hope...
It was as with me and that classmate who won over (me-) "sponge" with willpower. He drilled (crammed) it, and next day cared no more... And this, to today, ruins my life - however I say to myself how I can have (only) temporal , or any, at all (fear...) - goals; I care when I dont have to, and wont if my life would depend on it - it is cursed! (To "Burn Care"?)
I gave up, see no end - so; does you?
/ Postmodernism "narrators" (media) want (force-)tell us "we make things up, in our heads; also, nothing is real and all is (then) fake" - but what it says and means!? Do we give-in, accept ":_whatever," reality (...) where we suport bilionaires "just for" workplaces, resources and opinions-mnaking (nanny corpo-state?) !? - What to do?!? Is this the capitalism end-goal - Neofeudalism, ROIs, XaaSes!? Nothing "next"?!
All I see is subtle subtext "creativity is scary (-non-profitable)" - "we need obedient ants!" ("so over" | technocrats from 1920s...)
0/27, 17/04/24 Random thoughts
many intenrnet posts about "how people love..." to be awake at 1-5am, "just to be in..." dark and silence, alone, with their thoughts - when one person pinpoints it, it is romantic for a while. but then, it starts to (get popular,) feel sacharine and there are copycats andcomments to it. makes one wonder ?how so?"
...
what to do? it feels like the best era already happened, and we live in the last era - last juice of past glory - pastiche of it. '97-'15 peak (/before big-media...). after that, culture and society went to era of "meta-criticism", being critical about why [it] is so critical... - gives me the same "vibes" as if... your dreams came true, - but then , as if - you start to feel guilty, lied to (sorts of "suffering from success"), weird ("and now what!") - similar to about any [post-revolution] (brainfog) zeitgeist -
you got what you want(ed), - but how to assure this wont repeat, that [*this*] will not be took for granted (...), forgotten, and bagatelized - (new-)normalized, - simplified, and >> used in (some, pol.) future campaign , and or used in some form of (pol., soc.) coercion?!! -
- just *another* status quo, "without" history!
Menovky: pokračovanie, post-truth, postmodernism
zverejnil Philosopher @ januára 01, 2023
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